The demons ....

Why does this happen? No really why??
When I pulled out of my second race this spring with not agonizing but painful to be of concern tendon ankle pain . I was angry frustrated sad almost to the point of tears. But I was able to say ,Hey you're a 38 year old Ironworker who needs to be concerned about his ability to perform a very physical job that at times walking on steel beams at respectable heights . And messing up a tendon in my ankle was not going to help anything especially when the only thing on the line is a respectable middle of the pack placing in a mountain bike race. Yeah I did a lot of mind fucking on myself to deal with it. And so all summer long I thought about the racing and tendon and all that stuff and earlier i hit the bike and although it seemed fine while riding the ankle was in a 7-8 in pain which told me to let it be and heal.
Add to that very slow work i probably worked as mus as I was laid off this year but I did better then some. I got some good Triumph rides in and the year was not a total loss. I am working now maybe for another couple weeks. I had a real close call at work which could have left me dead,disfigured, mentally incapacitated(keep the joke to a minimum),but for what ever reason was able to grab the beam and hold on and thankfully I did not pass out and Thad and BVG were near by to get me backup on the Iron. If any one thing from the tie off to the bundle of decking was off 1/4 or maybe less it would've been different.

Sooo last week I found myself cruising the Siren Bike website which I really like the style of bike and would love to steb up my bike quality but if I am not racing a full season I cannot justify the new bike but i still like to look. Then I started looking at the the sites of the riders I admire riders who have jobs and are able to ride at the the highest level in the endurance races, Mr .Strout,Mr.Unwin,Mr.Marenchin,as well as others like Justin Lund, also hitting the WEMSsite and realized how much I missed the racing

Now I sit here debating,deciding,plotting,configuring?,where do I want to be On October 30th,2010? Well I'll tell you , as it stands right now I want to be out of debt,working steady , in a new home, in a stable relationship,and will have been able to Triumph trip to Texas in the spring for 1-2 week trip,with meetin L.A. and ride back , and to have raced through the season maybe not evry race or even with series points in mind but enough that I kept at it and enjoyed it and maybe if Granny Gear get's their Sht together I'll compete in the 24 nine. But the way that went down last year was a shame. If they think they lost $ last year what about the continued loss of the years to come. Maybe the Good folks involved with WEMS could create a 24/9 alternative???? I know there is a lot too it. and people not as worried about money would help too. OK OK OK .back to me again. In addition to learning that Damned guitar to the point of having 10 song's Iknow as well as a comprehension to facilitate a little improv on it. If not I'll sell that and the 8500 trek for a new pc and play video games 'til I retire at 75.

So thanks for allowing me to vent. As I sit right now I will plan a coordinated,hopefully well executed plan in which in addition to a new strength and conditioning program in which i can include a program of base building ,which the lack there of I believe was the culprit of my ankle situation. Hopefully things will get clearer as time goes.

Have a Great Halloween.

Be Well.


and Oh yeah,
did you see this?